I love you not because of who you are,but because of who I am when I am with you.

No man or woman is worth your tears,and the one who is ,won’t make you cry.

The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can’t have them.

Never frown,even when you are sad,because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

To the world you may be one person,but to one person you may be the world.

Don’t waste your time on a man/woman,who isn’t willing to waste their time on you.

Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to,doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

Don’t try to hard,the best things come when you least expect them to.

Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one,so that when we finally meet the person,we will know how to be grateful.

Don’t cry because it is over,smile because it happened.

Life is a pure flame,and we live by an invisible sun within us.

-------Sir Thomas Browne

I HAD A GUINEA GOLDEN

by: Emily Dickinson (1830-1886)

HAD a guinea golden;

I lost it in the sand,

And though the sum was simple,

And pounds were in the land,

Still had it such a value

Unto my frugal eye,

That when I could not find it

I sat me down to sigh.

 

I had a crimson robin

Who sang full many a day,

But when the woods were painted

He, too, did fly away.

Time brought me other robins,--

Their ballads were the same,--

Still for my missing troubadour

I kept the "house at hame."

 

I had a star in heaven;

One Pleiad was its name,

And when I was not heeding

It wandered from the same.

And though the skies are crowded,

And all the night ashine,

I do not care about it,

Since none of them are mine.

 

My story has a moral:

I have a missing friend,--

Pleiad its name, and robin,

And guinea in the sand,--

And when this mournful ditty,

Accompanied with tear,

Shall meet the eye of traitor

In country far from here,

Grant that repentance solemn

May seize upon his mind,

And he no consolation

Beneath the sun may find.

事情已经过去一周了， 我的生活慢慢地恢复了正常，对大多数人来说也许应该说是不正常。

这件事对我的影响应该是很大的，我终于可以体会到《奋斗》中陆涛在失恋之后的种种不可思议的表现。每天其实都有不正常的时候，也就是半夜。在临睡之前，我总是无法控制自己地想着那个人和过去的事。辗转反侧，挥之不去。

每天都会很晚才睡着，基本上都要3点，每次都是累到不行了……我只是期盼不要做梦，因为只要是梦，她都会出现。不论是否是噩梦，对我都不是一件好事。每天醒来都已经是中午。房间里一片寂静，我有一种错觉，不知道自己身处何时何地……

我努力地想转移注意力。复习JAVA的认证测试、打游戏、看电影，每一件事仿佛都又提不起干劲，总觉得少了些什么。有时候觉得时间过得很快；有时候又觉得时间过得非常慢。一个人，有时候觉得非常寂寞。

我们也许就这么结束了，其实我们都累了。

两年间，我们都付出过，所以也没有更多的遗憾。

事实是我们也许走不到一起，但是我们曾经没有放弃，可惜现在也许失去了坚持的理由。

生活总是在继续……一位前辈说，我的人生才刚刚开始。我想把握好现在才是更重要的。

我正在适应没有她的生活，但是我本能地很抗拒这样做。这就是生活。

我不知道开学后会怎么样……

也许是我想的太多了，有些事不是我能控制的。我只能控制好我自己。

没事了

昨天早上起来就发现感觉不太好，到达体育馆的时候就有点后悔了，当时就在想今天的状态不是一般的差了。也许前一天真的是累了，休息的不够。

再加上心情不是很好。

由于没有热身，第一场男双输得莫名其妙，那个比分真的是惨，我的表现就快赶上中国男足了。

没有最滥，只有更滥。

刚下来，一个老头子找我单调。第一局我就被1：8，心情极度郁闷。幸好有人找我双打。

这回是没怎么打过的混双，准确地说，我们这边混双，对手男双。不是一般的劣势。在极度郁闷之下，我的状态失控了，反正也热开了，大开杀戒，一个人满场飞。杀球杀红了眼，估计隔网而战的对手被我吓傻了……结果非常满意，我们居然22：20赢了。

下场之后，满脸的汗水，心里舒服多了。

关于羽毛球，还有两件事，让我很不爽。

第一件，我的破电视机上不到央视五套和上海体育频道，也就是说我看不到林丹vs李宗伟的男单决赛！

第二件，早上打完球发现球鞋磨破，才半年啊，就他妈的要换鞋了，1000大洋就这样没了。

今天晚上的状态我还是比较满意的。

体力上基本上没有什么问题，打完基本上也不是很累。

技术上算是有好有坏。总的来说还是老毛病，失误太多，主要原因是觉得速度和节奏上不来，注意力不太集中。那件事对我来说还是很有影响的。

双打方面很对不起搭档，由于上述原因，出球太慢、杀球又没有什么太大的威胁。这个值得说一下，我的进攻能力还是可以的，主要是太单调，杀球的落点控制的不好。总算杀吊结合得还可以。

单打方面由于没有和高手过招，我打得还行，正手接发球劈杀发挥正常，进攻直线和斜线结合的也不错。不太满意的是头顶斜线劈杀打得不好，这个本来是我得分的手段。能赢两场单打我想应该是对手太弱了。

周六早上有场球，今天要调时差，否则以现在的作息习惯，周六就起不来了。

It is still hard for me to describe my feeling today.  I didn’t know what I should do when I had gotten up.  Soon afterwards I remembered that I must have lunch earlier than normal times because I must arrive at Yanchang Campus in order to get a ticket at 13:00.  Though I had tried my best to save time, I was late with some chagrin.  I met some classmates.  Someone asked me about us, I just said OK because I did not know what I should say.

The football game was so boring that I couldn't care about the result.  Furthermore, I didn’t want to watch the next so I decided to come back home. 

When I was waiting for the subway, I can’t help missing her.  When I sat down in the subway, I was powerless to prevent from recollection.  The last two years passed from my mind.  After that, my mind was a complete blank I couldn’t think about anything.  I didn’t want to go to anywhere.  I feared night, darkness and loneliness at that moment because I just felt helplessness and hopelessness.  I had missed the station one by one till I began to be aware that the train had finished a lap.

I think I didn’t become lost.  I was willful, naive and weak, but not always.

今天在回来途中看到有女单的转播，卢兰vs黄妙珠。本来我到不是很在意，但是一看比分我就停下来了。第二局打到26平，这个紧张的气氛倒是似曾相识。最后这几分打得惊心动魄，总算是赢下来了。我在打比赛的时候也出现过这样的比分，我能够部分体会这是的心理状态。说部分是因为她站在了奥运会的赛场上，这种气氛我无法想象。说能体会是因为在这样的比分下，一个人面临的压力是很难描述的。比赛能锻炼人啊！朱指导常常这么说。

明天俱乐部照例有活动，不知道以我目前的状态会打成个什么鸟样子，希望明天还知道什么是羽毛球！

Today is very unusual for me.  It’s the first time I feel that my life lose its colour.  It is very hard for me to express myself.  I am all of tremble.  I still have no idea to deal with the love between us.  

Perhaps, I don’t understand what love is.  At least, I think love should not make us tired and sad but the fact is ridiculous.  When I read the last message from her in last Saturday, I have known that she didn’t care anything about us.  I was not more important than IELTS in her heart.  No argument, no anger.  I felt lonely.

Originally, I was looking forward to a happy reunion after a long separation.  I imagined the scene every day and night before she came to shanghai.  I have never thought the reality which I can’t meet and accept.  It must be something wrong.  Perhaps, it will be the best way for us to have a separation to think the future.  We need time indeed.

I have never doubted that I love her from start to finish.  However, I know that sometimes she doesn’t feel so happy.  I also need more communication, concern and support.  I am not sure that I have imposed a severe stress on her.  I have to do so because of the hopeless future.  I have no confidence about whether our love is so steady to meet the challenge of reality in the future.  I don’t want to give up.  It is the problem that I regard myself as infallible and ignore her feeling.

Yesterday morning, she said:”I have no idea.” When I had asked her how she love me.  Finally, I did understand that she didn’t know how to face with my expectation.

As her boyfriend, I am not excellent enough.

I will still try my best to spend every day.

I don’t know whether I can sleep tonight, but my heart is unprecedentedly purity.